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This year I am resolved not to make any lofty, sentimental resolutions based on how miserably I managed to screw up the last one (although if I was, my first one would probably be never look back on your life at 3am after too much champagne, too little sleep and reading a love letter from a man whose heart you have broken).

At 28 I know there is not much I can do about changing the essential me and, in all honesty, am pretty content with who I am but not necessarily with how that finds expression.  So I have decided that 2010 is to be a year of revolutions rather than resolutions.

To this end I have invested in a magical little book by Michael Norton entitled “365 ways to change the world.”  From globalism and consumerism to health issues to environmental concerns, each page covers a practical way in which every individual can begin making a positive impact on the world around them rather than sitting back and whining in self-centredness and despair.

Today’s assignment was simply to set a target for the change I want to see in the world.  Mine is to improve the access that children in the impoverished communities around me have to healthcare, educational support, and recreational facilities so that they can have a chance at a great life.

Archbishop Oscar Romero said:

There is a certain liberation in understanding that we can’t do everything.  This enables us to do something and to do it very well.

 What are you going to do this year?

The common green mamba found predominantly in the forests along the eastern coast of South Africa is the smallest of the mamba family, averaging a mere 1.8 meters (5.9 feet) in length.

According to wikipedia they are shy and unaggressive creatures which seldom venture to the ground and, when threatened, usually just make a quick and elegant escape. 

Unfortunately for me, the one that I encountered on my holiday obviously had not read wiki for he conducted himself in a most inappropriate manner.  Granted, he had obviously been blown out of his treetop sanctuary by the wind that was whipping around us so I can understand his foul temper. 

I also have to acknowledge that he was probably further aggrieved by the fact that I was standing directly on his chosen route home but I really do not it was necessary for him to draw himself up to about knee height (as my knees are quite far from the ground I’m fairly certain he was an above-average specimen length-wise) and proceed to sway and lunge at me in a most threatening manner.

Fortunately I kept a cool head and, while shrieking at the top of my lungs, threw most of the contents of my tote bag at him.  Even more fortunately my aim is pretty awful and the flurry of objects landing all around him distracted him long enough for me to make a very unladylike getaway. 

Talking to a snake handler at a nearby reptile centre a few days later I was calmly assured that I had done completely the wrong thing, and, if I had managed to hit the snake he would most assuredly have bitten me.

So what should I have done? There are apparently three golden rules for negotiating with a snake:

1. Stay very still.
2. If the snake looks to be in a threatening position, back away slowly.
3. Don’t make sudden movements or the snake may bite.

Whatever you do, definitely DO NOT throw your favourite pair of sunglasses at it because you will have to retrieve them at a later stage! 

I’m a real girl – apparently a rare commodity in the fantastical land of Evony. There are some who try to fake it with ladylike names and pretty profile pictures but in the way they walk and the way they talk it soon becomes apparent that their feminine features are mere deceptions.

Now, being a real girl has certain advantages, hence the motivation for faking it I think (that and the chance to finally dress up in a socially appropriate way):

• it brings out the protective instincts of my alliance mates no matter whether or not I am ranked more highly than them – resources and reinforcements are readily available when a damsel cries out in distress;
• I can stop an impending attack with fluttering eyelashes and a few simple words like “can’t we talk about this over dinner” or “don’t you know it’s rude to look up a girl’s skirt without permission;”
• and, of course, I always seem to have company at hand whenever I need a little amusement.

There are downsides too, of course, like:

• trying to manage 7 whispers at once without confusing the guy or the topic at hand in order to continue the above-mentioned support and attention;
• opening and closing lines like “so what are you wearing?” and “I’ll come wash your back in the shower” tend to get real old real soon;
• increased chances of acquiring a stalker;
• and, my personal worst, breaking a nail on the keyboard while trying to keep up with the flurry of flirting.

At the end of the day, I have to admit that being a real girl really enhances the fun and the strategy behind on-line play.  But in admitting my utter shamelessness in using my gender to my advantage in every possible way, I think it becomes apparent that in the land of Evony I’m not such a real girl after all.